Stages of PMDD - Discovery to Recovery

We've noticed that there is a "PMDD journey" that most of us PMDDing women go through.  Imagine the 5 (or 7 or 10 depending on the model) stages of grief. 

So far, this is what we've seen (and we welcome comments or additions):

• Stage 1: "What the hell is this?" 

Pretty self-explanatory.  Usually we read someone's account of a PMDD episode and realize that this is exactly what's been going on in our lives, and it is indeed cyclical.  The research ensues, and we learn more about our reproductive organs and functions and hormones than most non-gynecologic physicians. 

• Stage 2: "I'm trying everything under the sun to get rid of this."

Very early on, we try medications, supplements, yoga, psychotherapy.... anything and everything to try to get rid of this monthly monster (hey, that's a good name for a PMDD blog.. Monthly Monster).

• Stage 3:  "Why the hell is this not taken more seriously?"

On our trips to the doctor or during online searches, we discover that this is not a very recognized disorder.  It's only been recently added to the DSM-V.  Not many physicians want to take responsibility for the treatment of it or they recommend 2 things:  Birth control pills or antidepressants. And good luck getting an official diagnosis. 

Some of us are inspired to start a blog, a Facebook group, or even a website.  We want the world to know that this is real and it needs a cure now!!  We might even talk about writing our lawmakers, our doctors, our researchers...(BTW, anger is not required for Stage 3.. a bit of proactive action after discovering PMDD is not well-known is all that is needed, or even a thought or feeling about it being wrong when we can't get much help.)

• Stage 4:  "Holy crap, my new regime is working and no one will ever have PMDD ever again! EVERYONE LISTEN TO ME YOU ARE SUFFERING FOR NO REASON! Oh wait, no, false alarm, what are you guys trying now?"**

Once we've tried many, many, many, MANY different things, we sometimes falsely believe that we've successfully gotten rid of the monster only to have it return (sometimes worse than before).  And when we can find nothing new to try, we're back to Stage 2 and then Stage 3.

• Stage 5: "I hate the world and PMDD, and you all are stupid for still being in Stage 2!!"

When we visit our old PMDD haunts (the forums, the Facebook groups, the blogs, etc.) we get sickened by the never-ending vents that seem to be repeated over and over, just by different women at different times of the month.  It's the same thing we've felt and might have said or posted previously, and we cannot respond anymore without a snide remark or bitterness, or we're tired of repeating the same things over and over and telling our stories over and over... so we simply stop replying. 

We'll see someone who is in Stage 2 or Stage 4, who thinks they've found something brand-spanking new that no one has ever tried before, and we either laugh or feel sorry for them. But we realize that they need to try everything.  We were just as desperate at one point too.  So we let them be and offer maybe a few helpful tips about dosages or side effects or drug interactions, sometimes backed up with sources. 

• Stage 6:  "I'm tired of wasting so much energy on this."

After we've tried everything, seen everything, and come to the conclusion that the only answer is surgery (but most of us cannot get it because we are too young or something else gets in the way, usually bureaucracy), after we've snapped at people in Stage 2 or 4 or worked on a blog or website for so long that it loses meaning, after we've lost any spark or reason to continue fighting... we.. well, usually continue fighting.  Except with less gusto. 

At least this has been the case with the people I know.  I imagine a lot of women who either don't get to go through the stages or never find anyone else who has PMDD simply commit suicide or are convicted of a crime due to PMDD.  Or they go through menopause and stop having PMDD.  Or they have surgery and stop having PMDD.

• Stage 7:  Recovery??  Is there something before that?  

Is there a Stage before recovery?  I'm not sure yet.  I'm still in Stage 6.  I'm barely typing this now because I don't have that drive to work on this website anymore (this is the third version of the site).  I'm exhausted and just waiting for surgery.  I've got a plan in place once we get insurance again (some of us are doing so badly from the PMDD that we lose our incomes and our health insurance) to have a smaller less invasive surgery first to see if I can tolerate the general anesthesia since I woke up in the middle of a colonoscopy.  Then I'm hoping to have the DaVinci hysterectomy and be in and out of the hospital in a day. 

**Thank you, Janice, for helping me come up with Stage 4.

What stage are you in?  What was the worst stage for you so far?

Copyright © Evelyn Moellering 2013 All Rights Reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced without written consent from the author.